The ‘CARED’ Approach

Communication is more than words. We can communicate with our actions and behavior. It is important to communicate well with children. Good communication helps children develop self-confidence and self esteem. Children with high self-esteem grow into adults who feel good about themselves.

The “CARED” approach is an effective way of ensuring that children feel heard, respected and appreciated. You can make sure that your child is cared for by following the “CARED” approach to a healthy Self Esteem.

Be Courteous

Courteous children have courteous role models. The first step in teaching courtesy is being courteous. Children learn by imitating the behaviour of people around them. Saying “Please”, “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” to the children in the course of normal conversation are right examples of being courteous to children. This shows respect towards the child and thereby increases their self esteem

Attend and Accept

Accept children as they are and for who they are. When children know that we accept them as they are they are able to feel good about themselves. Children who feel accepted are more likely to share their feelings and problems. Remember, when adults threaten, children will feel worthless, when they preach children feel that they are not liked. We can accept children without approving of their behaviour.

Pay attention to what children say. Young children take only a few seconds to share their thoughts and feelings. Parents and teachers can stop what they are currently doing and listen to what the children have to say. If it is difficult to spare some time, tell the child that I am busy right now, but we will talk later and make sure that you do listen to your child later. However, what is most important that we must not pretend to be listening to children when we are not.

Keep Requests Simple

Young children do best when they carry out one request at a time. It is difficult for them to remember a series of requests. For e.g. If we tell a child, “Go to your room, pick up your toys and put them in the bag”. These are a series of orders given at a time. Instead we can break up the tasks for e.g. ask the child to pick up the toys. Once this task is complete, we can move on to the next.

Talk at Eye level

Eye contact improves communication. You may have to stoop or sit to be eye to eye with a young child but the results will be justified. Talking with children and listening to what they have to say are valuable habits that if formed early are very essential when they grow up to become teenagers.

Use ‘Do’ Statements

Try telling children what to do rather than what not to do. Positive communication is received and understood better than negative communication. For instance, rather than saying, “Don’t draw on the wall”, you can say “Colour on this page”.

Self-esteem is not like a cool pair of sneakers that one loves to have but doesn’t have to have. Good self-esteem helps a child know that every part of him/her is worth caring for and protecting.

To build a healthy Self Esteem, your child needs to be “CARED” for…